Stupid hormones

So, yeah. First day of work was yesterday. Let me tell you, I am disappointed and more than a little angry. This corporation, which will remain nameless, is supposed to be a good Christian corporation. So, I go in with my expectations raised higher than they would be otherwise. I was actually appalled at the behaviour of most of the employees. Swearing. Lewd comments to each other. Kicking and throwing merchandise at each other. All of this IN FRONT OF CUSTOMERS. Flabbergasted. Irked on the customers' behalf. I saw one woman looking disdainfully at them while they were carrying on like that. I apologized to her profusely, but no one else seemed to notice her malcontent with their attitudes and behaviours. Now, I get retail is not really fun. I understand that it is less than ideal. But, seriously, it's your job to make sure the customer is treated right. I'm not saying the customer is always right, by any means. Just treat them right. Also, they don't want to work with my corn allergy. Meaning, no popcorn in the break room. Don't pop it. Don't bring it. Don't eat it. It will kill the new girl. Their response? "Just carry your epi-pen with you." Uh. Yeah. With each use of the epi-pen comes a trip to the emergency room for benadryl drips and oxygen tanks. Real smooth, guys. My husband is telling me over and over again to just call them up and tell them it's not going to work out and find another nanny/babysitting job. That'd be ideal, really. I came home in so much pain yesterday, from cystic action on the ovaries and standing on my feet for ten hours. I couldn't get out of bed to go to my classes this morning. I just couldn't physically do it. That's not something I normally do. I don't skip school just because I hurt or something. I'm really tougher than that. My body is already starting to reject this business. So, I have a fun choice to make. Quit or don't.

Add to all that my hormones going crazy. I mean really crazy. I've been crying at the drop of a hat the past two days. Usually when I see someone holding a baby or hear someone mention they are pregnant or see baby commercials. It's really annoying. I also seem to be making myself out to be a martyr when I don't have to. I've got to get over that. My poor husband held me while I cried last night and told him how unappreciated and unloved I felt because I went to school full time and started working so we could eat and have food. And that it's not too much to ask for a backrub when I come home exhausted and hurting and crying. So, maybe I should just quit this job if it's causing this much trouble after only one day. It doesn't seem to bode well for the future. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, really. I just don't know. I do know I have a ton of homework I need to do, that isn't going to ever get done if I try to work at the same time. I need to kick some butt on the financial aid front at the university so that I can get it and move on.

I really want to get out of this stupid, depressing, hormonal funk. It seems to be the worst around the 20th of each month. I guess if I were normal, I'd be getting a period. Since I'm not normal, I'm just getting the side effects with no results to show for my anguish. Pisses me off and makes me want to cry.

I'm having no luck on the points thing, it seems. I'm told I will be pleasantly surprised at my weigh-in on Thursday morning, but I imagine I will break down in tears. Here's hoping for the best.