Holidays and Hormones

I've been thinking about updating for a while now. Every time I think about it, I talk myself out of it and then forget to. Not sure why, other than I'm just lazy. Mainly lots of troubles here. I've been in tears the last few weeks over finances and the cost of all the tests and drugs I need. No insurance. No nothing. It seems my babies are being taken away from me before I even have a chance to conceive them. I will keep fighting. I must keep fighting.

Thanksgiving was a blast and a half, with my 90 year old Granny at the helm. Gotta love her and all her wit and wisdom that spans nigh a century. For Thanksgiving dinner we had a buffet with two turkeys, a spiral ham, dressing, rolls, green beans, mashed potatoes, yams, 2 chocolate pies, 1 coconut pie, 2 caramel pies, 1 pecan pie, 4 pumpkin pies, 2 bread puddings, 1 flan, 1 regular cheesecake, 1 pumpkin cheesecake, 1 pink-stuff salad and 1 Five-Flavor cake. There were far more desserts than regular food. Way to stay on Weight Watchers, there. I failed that and don't even want to know how much I gained. We had planned to head back home on Friday. Much to our dismay, the truck decided that wasn't going to happen. A leaky radiator hose and a rusted pumper-thingy chose that day to completely go kaput. Thankfully, my Daddy fixed it, but we were behind a day in our travels. At least we traveled safely.

Today, I have started taking my progesterone pills. I am hoping and praying with this timing I can make it through finals before I start cramping and ovulating for the first time in 14 years. I'm prepared, but I'm not. I know how much that mess hurts. I know how much I hurt WITHOUT ovulation. I'm not looking forward to it. I am looking forward to a cycle, though, and hopefully unsticking my hormones that are in stasis right now. I cramp constantly because my body is in a constant state of PMS. It wants to start. It just doesn't. It's frozen.  Hoping there is relief in sight. Next weekend, I will start the glucophage to help get the insulin-resistance of the PCOS under control. Just wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' this cyyyycle will staaaa-AAAart!

At any rate, just trucking along trying not to think too hard about things. "Trying" being the key word, there. I just have to be less whiny and wimpy about my malfunctioning body.